


(1) New Message

by spacecats



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Death, I kinda broke my own heart writing this, Kinda happy ending maybe a little, Light Angst, M/M, Other, Sad, i don't really know what to tag this as
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 11:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3445985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacecats/pseuds/spacecats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Marco dies and Jean keeps sending him texts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(1) New Message

**Author's Note:**

> i kinda hate myself for writing this  
> so i don't mind if u hate me too  
> (again sorry for the lame title i'm bad at this)  
> ♥

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

I didn’t see you at school today, if you’re still mad at me, I’m sorry, I’m sorry that we argued, I didn’t mean the things I said. Please, come back, I miss you.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

It’s been a week almost, and I haven’t seen or heard from you since, if you’re avoiding me, you’re doing a really fucking good job of it, Marco.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

It isn’t like you at all to miss this much time off school, our home room teacher said there was an illness going around, being passed from student to student and for us to be careful, but it looks like you already caught it, don’t come back until you’re better.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

Class isn’t the same without you, I sat at your desk today and looked through your notebook, please don’t be mad, your drawings are really good! Even though they mostly consist of me. I guess you must be able to capture my good side.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

I’m starting to really worry about you, I asked our home room teacher if she knew where you were but she just gave me this odd look, I asked a few of your other friends too but they kept avoiding my questions; I’m starting to feel like everyone knows where you are but me, I said I was sorry, Marco. You’re not still mad at me, are you?

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

Tonight, I walked by your house on the way home from school, I was hoping to be able to see you, but none of the lights were on and your moms car wasn’t in the driveway. Marco, did you move house?

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

You still haven’t showed up to class, I can hear people whispering your name and talking about you, no one will tell me anything. Is this just some sort of giant practical joke? Because it really isn’t funny…

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

I got called into the principals office today, I started to argue because I hadn’t done anything wrong, I thought maybe Eren had done something and tried to blame it on me, again, like the time he drew that giant dick on the whiteboard… Your mom was there and she was crying, she got up and hugged me and kept apologising in my ear, I was confused, I’m still confused, you’re not really in the hospital, are you?

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

I skipped school to come and visit you today, your whole family was there and I kinda felt out of place, like I didn’t have the right to be there, they all looked tired and sad, it doesn’t look like any of them have slept in weeks. After a while I was starting to think I was in the wrong room, the body in the bed, hooked up to all those machines, it didn’t look like you, Marco. I don’t remember you being so pale and I don’t remember you being so thin. Your mom said I could hold your hand if I wanted too, I tried, I really did, but despite the amount of blankets that covered you, you were so cold. Your mom took me to one side before I left and she cried again, she apologised again and I wasn’t sure what she was supposed to be sorry for; she said the rest of the school knew before I did, she said you’d been ill for quite some time. I wanted to run back over to you and shake you awake, yell at you for keeping such a huge secret from me, but I couldn’t, she told me how she’d heard you, crying, at night, rehearsing the way you’d tell me, reciting lines in the bathroom mirror, she said you didn’t want to hurt me and that you couldn’t find the right words to make it hurt less. She said you weren’t afraid to die, that you weren’t afraid of the pain, but that, instead, you were scared of the way I’d react to the truth. Sometimes, I wish you cared more about yourself than me.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

School isn’t the same without you, you best get better soon, I also doodled a few things in the notebook you keep under your desk, I think you’re gonna like them.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

I fought with Eren again today, you weren’t there to stop me, you didn’t grab my hand and pull me away, you didn’t yell at me by your locker afterwards and tell me how I needed to get my ass into gear if I wanted to graduate, you didn’t run your hand over your face in desperation at my childish behaviour. You didn’t hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay, a few more months and we’d be free from that place; were still gonna room together at college aren’t we? I really miss you, I’m lonely.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

I know it’s 3am, but I just got a call from your mom, she said that they’re going turn off your life support on Friday but I won’t be allowed to attend, she said she’s worried about how it’ll affect me, but I don’t care. I don’t want her to turn anything off Marco, please wake up. I’m scared.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

I’m sorry, it’s been a while. Your funeral was yesterday, they cremated you. I tried not to cry, I knew that wouldn’t be what you wanted, but I couldn’t help it. Why did you leave me?

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

I got a call from the school today, my grades are awful and my attendance is even worse, looks like all that extra help you gave me in math was a waste of time, I’m so sorry. I want to make you proud of me.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

Your mom came to my house today with a box of your things, she said that you wanted me to have them. Your favourite sweater was in there, I wanted to wear it, I thought maybe it’d feel like you were still here, but I was scared that if I wore it too much it’d no longer smell like you. You always did smell good.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

I finally went back to school, no one has even mentioned your name, our home room teacher doesn’t even call it out during the register. They removed you from the wall of students names and all of your books are gone, it’s like they’re trying to forget you, trying to pretend like you never existed. Connie said that it was just a part of moving on, that everyone still misses you but it’s part of a ”healing process”, he said that maybe I should start healing too, but how can I when I haven’t even stopped grieving? After lunch I sat at your desk, I carved your name in the wood, over and over again, I carved in your birthday too and your age. During break I wrote your name on almost every tile in the boys bathroom, I cried the entire time and I’m sure people think I’m losing my mind. I think I am too. I just don’t want them to forget you.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

Apparently, defacing school property gets you suspended for a few days, who knew? I can’t remember the last time I slept, Connie told me that I was being over dramatic and I needed to ”get over it”, but how can I? I can’t. I was told that once I return to school, I have to go and see the school therapist, but I don’t need that, I need you.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

Hi m e agAIn im kindA drunnk an i thin k that i toOk som3e pills woooops s illy mE mayb e i'll get to seee yo u soon i lovbe yoU.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

I don’t remember what happened, I don’t remember any of it. When I woke up your mom was there, for a split second I thought it was you, I never realised how much you look like her. She was crying again, she told me I was lucky to be alive, but I don’t feel lucky. She told me an angel must of been looking over me, she smiled and put her hand over her heart, I should’ve known you had something to do with this.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

Sorry, I haven’t had much time to talk, I promise I’ve been studying hard, I’m going to pass my exams, I’m going to prove that your help wasn’t a waste of time and I’m going to make you proud of me. When I got back to school, they’d replaced your desk with a new one and your name was no longer on each tile of the bathroom wall. I guess I can kind of understand though. I also met your brother for the first time, I introduced myself and he told me he already knew who I was, he said you never stopped talking about me. He’s the spitting image of you, Marco and I can’t bring myself to look him in the face.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

Your favourite sweater no longer smells like you and I’ve already started to forget the sound of your voice, but what I won’t forget is how you held me up, how you always had time for me, how you’d always know that I was in a shitty mood and how you’d always cheer me up. I’ll never forget the warmth of your hugs, the way your eyes lit up as you laughed or the 32 individual freckles that were painted across your face. I miss you more than ever these days, but I think I’ll be okay.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

I passed all of my exams! You probably already knew that though if you really are my guardian angel. My next step is to go to a good college and carry on with my art or maybe I’ll change and study something like medicine or science, I still wish we could of been roommates, but Connie said whatever college I go to, he’ll more than likely follow me, so I guess I won’t be alone after all. I know I’ve never asked before but I hope you’re doing well, I hope that you’re no longer suffering and I hope more than anything that you’re happy. I haven’t seen much of your family lately, I heard they moved, that they couldn’t stand to live in that house anymore, I know they still miss you, but I guess if they can move on and live happily with your memories then so can I. I love you, Marco.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

Just dropping you a quick message! I really am sorry for not texting you for a while, I finally moved into a dorm with Connie and I decided to carry on studying art. Things have been a bit hectic here, I’m still trying to settle in, I miss everything back in Trost, but I know this will be good for me. I’m finally happy.

 

**TO: Marco Polo**

**FROM: Jean**

It’s been six months already, I’ve made a ton of new friends and I really like living here, I know you’d like it too. I wore your favourite sweater today to try and impress Mikasa, needless to say, it didn’t work, you always did have a terrible choice in clothing... Well, I can’t make this too long, I promised Connie I’d go with him to watch a performance that his girlfriend, Sasha is in tonight, and sadly, no phones are allowed in the hall. I really wish you could be here, no matter how much I enjoy things, it still doesn’t feel quite right without you. I still hope you’re doing good, and I hope your family are too. I’ll talk to you soon.

 

**TO: Jean**

**FROM: Marco Polo**

The number you have tried contact has been disconnected. Please dial 000 for an operator.

**Author's Note:**

> ok so, i was gonna make the ending seem like marco's phone disconnected bc he was pissed off at jean for not sending as many texts anymore (bc even though he was dead he was still able to read them), but marco is literally an angel and he probs wouldn't do that so take the ending as: the disconnection message is his way of saying like, ''you don't have to text me anymore, jean'' bc he'd want jean to carry on being happy and live his life idk i'll shut up now


End file.
